Eurovision season is underway, and host country, Denmark, revealed the theme artwork and catch phrase for 2014's big event.
In past years, the theme art has been butterflies, flames, bubbles, and colorful paint brushstroke-type things. This year it's a DIAMOND! Yes, a beautiful, blue diamond. From Executive Producer, Pernille Gaardbo:
"Eurovision diamond symbolizes what the competition means to us: a hub that is at once sparkling and strong. Diamond has lots of different sides and shows the diversity and the richness that will be on stage at the Eurovision Song Contest."
And the catch phrase, "#JoinUs." Which, I suppose, displays how technologically-advanced the show in Copenhagen will be? Or they're just trying to appeal to the younger generations.
Eurovision season has officially started with the selection of Maria Yaremchuk! Ukraine is the first country this year to have a televised national final, and "Tick-Tock" by Yaremchuk was selected to compete in Copenhagen.
Ukraine has an outstanding reputation at Eurovision. After debuting at the Contest the year before, they won in 2004 with Ruslana's "Wild Dances," and have passed through the semi-finals every year since. Ukraine came in second place in 2007 and 2008, and finished in third place last year.
I expect Maria Yaremchuk will do well, as Ukraine almost always does well. Especially when they stick to the formula of sending a beautiful girl with a hot pop song. So good job, Ukraine!
Eurovision 2014 is less than six months away. In the following months, many more countries will be hosting their own national selections and announcing their representatives.
Yes, I am sad to say that since my last post, things changed for Bosnia and Herzegovina. Though they submitted an application for Copenhagen, an outside sponsor was never established. Bosnia announced their withdrawal from the competition earlier this week.
There are currently 37 countries preparing for Eurovision 2014.
After sitting out the Eurovision Song Contest in 2013 for financial reasons, Bosnia and Herzegovina has announced it will return for the 2014 competition!
This is great news for me because B&H is always one of my favorite entries. Bosnian performers are very well received at Eurovision, and they have reached the final every year since 2004.
Peter René Cipiriano Baumann, better known as DJ BoBo, is a legendary Swiss singer, rapper, and music producer. He is one of the most well-known and popular musicians in Switzerland. He tours internationally and has received ten World Music Awards for being Switzerland's best-selling musical artist. He first achieved success in 1992, with the Euro-techno-dance song, "Somebody Dance With Me." Fifteen years later, in 2007, Swiss judges selected DJ BoBo to represent their country at Eurovision.
DJ BoBo was definitely onto something here. The vampire craze was about to hit hard in the United States. Stephanie Meyer's Twilight novels were the biggest selling books in 2008. That same year, the film adaptations of her novels, starring sexy teen vampire, Robert Pattinson, and the object of his sexy vampire desire, Kristen Stewart, were also released. They grossed $392 million (US) worldwide. The first episode of HBO's True Blood debuted in 2008. And a year later, another television show about sexy teen vampires, The Vampire Diaries, premiered. In America, vampires were really, really cool. You couldn't go into a Borders without seeing a dozen displays of sexy vampire spin-off books and keychains and coffee cups and other useless things.
But in Europe, DJ BoBo's "Vampires Are Alive" did not make it to the finals. Despite DJ BoBo's international fame, he received only forty points and placed twentieth in the semi-finals. The song was not without controversy: a group of conservative Swiss Christians drew up a petition to get the song disqualified, as they felt it celebrated Satanism and encouraged teen suicide. Additionally, many Europeans felt that DJ BoBo was too famous to participate in Eurovision. Perhaps that's why the song did so poorly.
Sweden has won the Eurovision Song Contest five times, which makes them runners-up to only one country, Ireland, who has seven victories. Out of 58 Eurovisions, Sweden has finished in the top ten 35 times.
And what about Ace of Base? Robyn? ABBA. Icona Pop, Europe (responsible for the song "The Final Countdown"), Roxette, The Cardigans, Swedish House Mafia. Did you know Eagle-Eye Cherry was from Sweden? Outside of the ESC, Swedish writers and producers have been responsible for dozens Billboard Hot 100 songs. The Swedish-American Chamber of Commerce lists the Billboard top ten for April 2012, and half of the songs have a Swede behind them.
This article from The Atlantic examines why Swedish music has infiltrated the global market, and the many reasons behind their international dominance.
In 2006, Silvía Night was sent to the ESC to represent Iceland. She sang a song proclaiming she was the best candidate to ever participate in Eurovision and, additionally, "God's favorite person in the world." In the song, she declared that she was the winner, and congratulated Europe for making the right choice and voting for her, thereby "saving the world."
Austria has announced they will send Conchita Wurst to Eurovision in 2014! Conchita, whose real name is Tom Neuwirth, competed for a chance to represent Austria in 2012, but she was defeated by this MESS. Her entry, "That's What I Am" came in second place.
Austria, typically, does not do very well at Eurovision. They have only won the Contest once, in 1966. And they have placed last seven times, with many of their entries receiving zero votes.
Will next year be different for Austria? There's no way to know for sure, but Conchita Wurst does have a hot name, a perfectly manicured eyebrow/beard situation, and I'm sure she'll put on a great show. Great work, Austria! I look forward to seeing Conchita in Copenhagen!
In 2004, Ruslana became the first Ukrainian artist to win the Eurovision Song Contest. The Ukrainians debuted at Eurovision the year before; on their second try, Ruslana was awarded 280 points by audience votes, the most in ESC history at the time.
And it's Copenhagen! Not a surprise, considering that Copenhagen has been the city of choice for all three Eurovision Song Contests that Denmark has had the honor of hosting (in 1964, 2000, and 2014).
Some fans are disappointed in the uninspired choice. Early rumors predicted that the city of Herning would be the favorite, and another city, Horsens, proposed hosting Eurovision in an old prison. But the Danish producers of Eurovision have big plans for Copenhagen. The Contest will take place on a former shipyard called the B&W Hallerne. The whole area will be revamped into a "Eurovision Island," complete with shops and a state-of-the-art music arena.
The official slogan of Eurovision 2014 is "Join Us," and the Contest is scheduled to take place May 6, 8, and 10.
In 1998, Germany sent Guildo Horn and his backing band, Die Orthopädischen Strümphe (translation: The Orthopedic Stockings) to Eurovision. Guildo's song was called "Guildo hat euch lieb!" which means "Guildo Loves You!" in German.
Oh, boy. It's all very, very interesting. The lyrics are sugary-sweet, about how Guildo wants to come to your house and cheer you up when you are sad. But they are being sung by a giant, stomping, wild-eyed man, and that can seem like a disturbing sentiment. Still, Guildo and The Orthopedic Stockings finished in seventh place that year.
Alright, I know you're thinking that I messed up the dates, and this is actually a performance from the 1970s. But it's really 1998. In America, The Backstreet Boys and Destiny's Child were making their way up the music charts. In Germany, Guildo wore velvet bell-bottoms and platform boots and sang about "nut bars and raspberry ice cream." That's just some classic German humor for you.
Guildo, unfortunately, hasn't been back to Eurovision, but the composer of this song, Stefan Raab, has. Raab, a German television host, comedian, and musician, is responsible for several more Eurovision entries. He performed a terrible nonsense-rap in 2000 (Germans are just the goofiest!), and mentored the 2010 winner of Eurovision, Lena Meyer-Landrut.
Guildo marked a turn in German entries at Eurovision. For years leading up to this, Germany didn't put much effort into the Contest. Guildo's erratic, enthusiastic performance in 1998 is credited for bringing German attention back to Eurovision and paving a way for their win in 2010.
Australian DJ and pop singer, Gina G, represented the UK in 1996. Her song, "Ooh Ahh... Just a Little Bit," only finished in eighth place at the competition, but it went on to be a number-one hit in many countries. In America, the song was nominated for a Grammy for Best Dance Recording.
Those back-up dancers are just perfect. Everything about this performance is so fun and wonderful and 90s, but Europe wasn't quite ready for this kind of high-energy pop. Audiences wanted ballads in the 1990s, and Gina G was just a little before her time. But she did help start a trend that would bring Eurovision into the new millennium with a techno-dance beat.
Gina G attempted a return to Eurovision in 2005, but she did not make the final selection. She continues to produce music under her own record label and lives in the UK.
Carola Häggkvist is a Swedish singer and performer. She competed at Eurovision three times: in 1983, finishing third; in 1991, winning the contest; and in 2006, finishing fifth. To this day, Carola is a superstar in Sweden.
Ireland
has won Eurovision seven times, more than any other nation. In the
1990s, Ireland dominated the competition and is the only country to
win in three consecutive years, 1992, 1993, and 1994. There was
something inexplicable about the late 1980s and 1990s that made
people go crazy for Irish ballads.
According to esctoday.com, Valentina Monetta will be representing San Marino again in 2014!
There will always be a place in my heart for Valentina because of her first entry, 2012's "The Social Network Song (Oh-Oh-Uh-Oh-Oh)," which was a hot mess. And when she returned to Eurovision this year, she took a very different approach. She did well (finishing 11th out of 17 in the semi-finals), but not quite enough to qualify for the finals.
Will 2014 be Valentina's year? And the first year for San Marino to make it to the finals? I think the Sammarinese are onto something. We wish you the best of luck, Valentina!
Born in Switzerland in 1924, Lys Assia was the winner of the first-ever Eurovision Song Contest, held in 1956. She began her career as a dancer, but eventually transitioned to singing.
She returned to Eurovision in 1957 and 1958 to compete again for Switzerland, and she remains an important figure in the contest to this day. Every few years, she'll come out with a new song and attempt to re-represent her homeland.
Most recently, she teamed up with hip-hop group, New Jack, and recorded "All In Your Head." Switzerland decided to pass on this entry, unfortunately. Many were hoping that this mess would make it to the finals. But she's 89 years old, so good for her anyway.
Sluts are a proud tradition at Eurovision. Girls with high heels, tiny dresses, and big hair are a staple of the performances. Guys stand in front of wind machines until their shirts are literally ripped open, exposing toned, shiny abs underneath.
I love sluts. Sluts rock. The following are some of my favorite Eurovision sluts.
It's like American Idol, except every European country is allowed to send one song. And they participate in a week-long contest that happens once a year. There's no judging segment, and every country gets to call in a vote for a song. And you can't vote for your own country. And the votes are tallied live. And you know ABBA, right? They won in the '70s.
But what I don't often mention is that Eurovision has been around for almost 60 years. It was started in 1956, as a way of reuniting war-torn Europe after WWII. The European Broadcasting Union (EBU) still runs Eurovision, and any country who is a member of the EBU can participate. This is why nations like Israel and Azerbaijan, which are not technically in the continent of Europe, can compete.
Since Eurovision was created to bring peace, songs that are controversial or political are usually not accepted. That is why a lot of Eurovision songs are pop ballads about love, having fun, and being silly with your friends. It's traditionally light fare. In 2007, an Israeli band called Teapacks was almost disqualified because some thought their song, "Push The Button," was about nuclear war.
Every year, more people around the world watch Eurovision than The Superbowl or the Academy Awards. Which is why it's so crazy that most Americans have never heard of the contest.
I first learned about Eurovision in college, when a friend who studied abroad in London came home with his own obsession. He said to me, "You need to see this," sat me down in front a TV, and popped in a DVD copy of the 2006 contest (which was held in Athens, Greece; a Finnish monster rock band called Lordi won that year). And that was it for me, I was addicted.
The reason I love Eurovision is because it's full of DRAMA and SPECTACLE. Some entries are genuine, soulful ballads, and some are just fluffy pop music. And sometimes, Scandinavian men wear head-to-toe monster costumes and play a song about being saviors of rock 'n' roll. To me, Eurovision is just the most fun thing in the world.
At the Eurovision Song Contest in Malmo a few weeks ago, I couldn't help noticing that two countries had very similar aesthetics onstage. Aliona Moon from Moldova and Cezar Ouatu from Romania.
They both wore skirts that raised up during the climax of their song! EL SCANDALO!
It is even more interesting considering the complicated, strained relationship between Moldova and Romania. Most of Moldova was part of Romania until the 1990s, and many on both sides still push for unification.
I refuse to believe this is just a coincidence. Either Romania and Moldova planned this, or some top secret Eurovision wardrobe information was leaked from one of the countries. What does it all mean?
And, more importantly, who wore it better?
Bonus points for Aliona because her dress changes color. And, lightning bolts.
Bonus points for Cezar because he looks like a dramatic gay vampire.
The contest ends today. I don't pay attention to betting odds (yes, there are betting odds for Eurovision) mostly because I don't understand how they work (and I'm too lazy to Google it). So my picks for the winner are based completely on my own knowledge of what the average Eurovision audience member is looking for.
SPECTACLE! Is it exciting to watch? Is the song dynamic? Does it have a key change about 3/4 of the way through? Is the performer compelling in some way? Where is the DRAMA?
Is the song universal? Can everyone in Europe relate to it? Are the lyrics in English? Because that usually helps.
Does the song celebrate the country's individual culture and heritage? But not like, in an annoying way. Don't be ostentatious. Universal. Greece, I'm looking at you. Refer to point #2.
Every few years, it seems that a certain region of Europe holds popularity. It was very fashionable to vote for Eastern Europe around ten years ago. Then the Scandinavians broke that streak, and Finland, Norway, and Sweden have all won in the past six years. Are Europeans still interested in what Scandinavia has to offer? Or will voting patterns shift? The one tried and true rule is that no one ever votes for the UK. Sorry, Bonnie Tyler. I think you're great.
So, with that being said, here is who I think will win.
This is Valentina Monetta. She is currently representing San Marino in the Eurovision Song Contest, being held right now, in Malmo, Sweden.
Valentina has been trying to represent her country at Eurovision since 2008. She finally got her chance last year, with "The Social Network Song (Oh-Oh-Uh-Oh-Oh)." Which was an amazing disaster of a song, full of poorly translated English lyrics, too-tight ponytails, and very thinly-veiled advertisements for Facebook.
But despite all that, it finished 14th in the semi-finals, making it San Marino's best ever placing in Eurovision. Though it didn't qualify for the finals, Valentina made history for her country.
So the Sammarinese (that's the people of San Marino, look it up) got smart and brought Valentina back for another try at Eurovision. This year's entry is rather different from "The Social Network Song."
Who knew the Facebook girl from last year could actually sing? Now, I have no idea what "Crisalide (Vola)" is actually about. It could also be a song about Facebook. But don't you get the feeling that Valentina only signed on to do the Facebook song because they promised her a chance to do something actually good in the future?
Unfortunately, Valentina is not going to the finals this year either. She failed to qualify. I'm a little heartbroken over this. Our little flower bloomed into a beautiful young woman, only to be shot down again. Scores haven't been released yet for yesterday's semi-finals, so I don't know how close she was to qualifying. But I hope she'll be back next year with a song about Twitter called "Tweet Me (Beep-Beep-Oh-Oh)."
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