From Eurovision Champions to Irish Turkeys

Ireland has won Eurovision seven times, more than any other nation. In the 1990s, Ireland dominated the competition and is the only country to win in three consecutive years, 1992, 1993, and 1994. There was something inexplicable about the late 1980s and 1990s that made people go crazy for Irish ballads.

That is Johnny Logan, who is considered Ireland’s most famous Eurovision contestant. He represented the country many times as both a performer and a composer, and he has won three times. People in Ireland call him “Mister Eurovision.” He is a national hero.

So how is it that Ireland went from champions of Eurovision to barely qualifying for the finals? Well, It started around 2007 with Dervish.

Is it just too Irish? Is that why this came in last place? Yes, she's flat. And her costume choice shows that Ireland might be a little out of touch. There was definitely a shift in voting around this time; Eastern Europe started dominating the contest in the early 2000s. Okay, so it’s not great. But it’s actually not the worst thing Ireland has sent to Eurovision.

Yes, Dustin the Turkey technically scored more points than Dervish, but this entry is a joke. Dustin is a talking, singing, farting turkey puppet, and his song is about how he’s going to win Eurovision, screamed over a techno beat. This entry failed to get enough votes in the semi-finals to progress to the finals. Personally, I like it because it’s awful. And if we really dissect what’s going on during this performance, remember that there is a grown adult human man (his name is John Morrison) crouching in a shopping cart decorated to look like a toilet/DJ booth doing the puppetry. And the proud nation of Ireland, a country that had dominated only a decade ago, voted to have this mess to represent them. And that makes me happy.

And now, onto Jedward.

Jedward represented Ireland in 2011 and 2012. Identical twins, John and Edward Grimes got their start on The X-Factor and participated in England’s Celebrity Big Brother 8. They are also good friends with Tara Reid. As two pale teenage boys with troll doll hair, they definitely stood out among the competition at Eurovision. I like their enthusiasm. They’re having such a good time together! And look at how high they can jump! Jedward placed 8th in 2001, and 19th in 2012. Will we ever see them again? Who knows if Ireland has learned its lesson yet.

Ryan Dolan was Ireland's representative in Malmo. He came in last place at the finals. Poor Ryan. This is a good song by Eurovision standards, but audiences seem to be jaded with Ireland right now. Maybe they were turned off by the drummers in leather pants?