Who Wore It Better?

At the Eurovision Song Contest in Malmo a few weeks ago, I couldn't help noticing that two countries had very similar aesthetics onstage. Aliona Moon from Moldova and Cezar Ouatu from Romania.

They both wore skirts that raised up during the climax of their song! EL SCANDALO!

It is even more interesting considering the complicated, strained relationship between Moldova and Romania. Most of Moldova was part of Romania until the 1990s, and many on both sides still push for unification. 

I refuse to believe this is just a coincidence. Either Romania and Moldova planned this, or some top secret Eurovision wardrobe information was leaked from one of the countries. What does it all mean?

And, more importantly, who wore it better?

Bonus points for Aliona because her dress changes color. And, lightning bolts.

Bonus points for Cezar because he looks like a dramatic gay vampire.

The Question on Everyone's Minds

Who is going to win Eurovision 2013?

The contest ends today. I don't pay attention to betting odds (yes, there are betting odds for Eurovision) mostly because I don't understand how they work (and I'm too lazy to Google it). So my picks for the winner are based completely on my own knowledge of what the average Eurovision audience member is looking for.

1. SPECTACLE! Is it exciting to watch? Is the song dynamic? Does it have a key change about 3/4 of the way through? Is the performer compelling in some way? Where is the DRAMA?
2. Is the song universal? Can everyone in Europe relate to it? Are the lyrics in English? Because that usually helps.
3. Does the song celebrate the country's individual culture and heritage? But not like, in an annoying way. Don't be ostentatious. Universal. Greece, I'm looking at you. Refer to point #2.
4. Every few years, it seems that a certain region of Europe holds popularity. It was very fashionable to vote for Eastern Europe around ten years ago. Then the Scandinavians broke that streak, and Finland, Norway, and Sweden have all won in the past six years. Are Europeans still interested in what Scandinavia has to offer? Or will voting patterns shift? The one tried and true rule is that no one ever votes for the UK. Sorry, Bonnie Tyler. I think you're great.

So, with that being said, here is who I think will win.

Look At How Far She's Come

This is Valentina Monetta. She is currently representing San Marino in the Eurovision Song Contest, being held right now, in Malmo, Sweden.

Valentina has been trying to represent her country at Eurovision since 2008. She finally got her chance last year, with "The Social Network Song (Oh-Oh-Uh-Oh-Oh)." Which was an amazing disaster of a song, full of poorly translated English lyrics, too-tight ponytails, and very thinly-veiled advertisements for Facebook.

But despite all that, it finished 14th in the semi-finals, making it San Marino's best ever placing in Eurovision. Though it didn't qualify for the finals, Valentina made history for her country.

So the Sammarinese (that's the people of San Marino, look it up) got smart and brought Valentina back for another try at Eurovision. This year's entry is rather different from "The Social Network Song."

Who knew the Facebook girl from last year could actually sing? Now, I have no idea what "Crisalide (Vola)" is actually about. It could also be a song about Facebook. But don't you get the feeling that Valentina only signed on to do the Facebook song because they promised her a chance to do something actually good in the future?

Unfortunately, Valentina is not going to the finals this year either. She failed to qualify. I'm a little heartbroken over this. Our little flower bloomed into a beautiful young woman, only to be shot down again. Scores haven't been released yet for yesterday's semi-finals, so I don't know how close she was to qualifying. But I hope she'll be back next year with a song about Twitter called "Tweet Me (Beep-Beep-Oh-Oh)."